twenty-third year.

although the events of my trip haven’t been ideal at times, this trip is just what i’ve needed.

it has cleared my head and i feel like a reset button has been hit in my life. i’m ready. to tackle school. to think about my future. to take care of me.

time for some changes.

i’ve been focusing so much of my attention on elliott being gone for the past month (i cant believe it has been a month already) that it has been really affecting everything else in my life in a negative way.

lisa put things into perspective for me and basically told me that i can’t keep that on the front burner anymore. i just need to move forward and put that on the back burner for awhile until he comes back. deal with it when it comes—try to go with the flow. i know, me go with the flow? hah.

but i know that i can do it because everything that i’m worried about—well, i have no control over the situation. i don’t know, i’m just more at ease and what happens, happens.

she also helped me realize that if it weren’t for England, Elliott and I wouldn’t have gotten a chance to be as close as we are. Knowing that he was leaving allowed us to spend more time with each other and strengthen our relationship. Thus because of England, I’ve had the best relationship that I’ve ever had. And I found my best friend. And the best part is, we are willing to give things another shot. That is all that really matters. What happens between now and then doesn’t.


Plus he is getting this amazing opportunity to do something that he has wanted to do for a long time. That is just awesome. Not everyone gets this opportunity and I’m so proud of him for it.


And I’m getting the chance to do things that I’ve been needing and wanting to do. I’m working on making me a better person—something that I’ve been talking about doing for a really long time.

So time for changes.

Superficial ones:

-New hair cut

-New, more adult wardrobe

-Graduating college so I can get a better job and live a more fulfilling life.

-Finding a job and a life outside of Bellingham.

Soul-satisfying ones:

-Learning how to not be so stressed out/judgemental/overall crazy :)

-Creating and maintaining long lasting relationships with friends and family

-Learning to let things go and not be so obsessive about things

-Travel. I just want to travel and see the world. The world outside of Bellingham. Outside of Washington. I need that. I need to see the wonders in life. I need to appreciate life.


Lisa. She is truly a wonderful person and I’m really trying hard not to cry because I’m so happy that she is in my life and that I’ve been given these wonderful parents that are so supportive and so awesome towards me. I made Lisa cry yesterday as I was telling her about my life (I basically did a mini panel) and she said she was so proud of me and thinks I’m wonderful.

Lisa and Dad and Ell’s parents are seriously the best parents ever. They are all so amazing. If I were to be a parent, I hope that I’m a fraction of them.

And my dad and Lisa have this amazing relationship. You can really tell that they just love each other so much. It really gives me a new perspective on relationships and what a true partnership is.

Basically, I’m looking forward to new and exciting challenges and the positive changes that I’m making. This truly is my twenty-third year and I plan on making the most of it.

The Notebook is on! yay!